Love; an emotion that nobody can define or put into words; rather
we all ended up with a definition of our own and some probably still don’t know
as there can never be a universally accepted phenomenon for the same.
Parents of our and previous generations to start with; unfortunately, no one taught them the importance of loving their own self when they probably needed it the most. They have always known to be the ones giving up almost everything that they have and they can, for their children. Why? Is there not a need to put a stop to it? Does that not create a pressure on the child in the later stages of life where they cannot freely choose what they want to do and the first thing that captures their mind is the number of sacrifices or compromises made by their parents? Parents might not ask for anything in return, maybe, but does that not make it all the more worse? Firstly, you see the older generation compromising and later the next generation doing the same! Why?
With changing times and broader mindset; today, I am glad to have known a few of them in person, wherein parents followed their dreams as they were head strong on a fact that they aren’t answerable to anyone but to their own heart. Does moving out of a city for a couple of years to take that dream job make her a bad mother to the five-year-old? Does leaving his job to invest in his start-up and not being able to give his children everything they want makes him a bad father? If yes, then for instance, leaving your parents for your dream job or whatsoever especially when they are old and they need you is not less than a gruesome act and makes you the worst child ever! Held, it isn’t plausible that you don’t love your child when you do anything of that sort; instead, it inspires millions to love themselves too, exactly know what they want from their own lives and how they need to figure out to be able to witness the execution of the same by striking a balance between achieving what they want on one hand and not keeping their child deprived of love on the other. A standing ovation to all those who not only have the courage but grace to love themselves and believe that no matter what “I have a life of my own too and I need to live my life on my own terms.” So, from where do you get this courage and determination – Love of oneself!
As we grow up and move out of the protective shell given to us by
our parents, we interact more with the outer world, meet different people, make
new friends and easily fall in love. It’s easy to fall in love but the truth
prevails that no one ever taught us how to move on with it; only time. I do not
know anyone in person who never really fell in love or rather didn’t ever get a
feel of it. In today’s ever-changing world, before a person thinks about love,
the perplexed mind takes them on a roller coaster ride with a bundle of
questions, the answers to which are never known, unless time told us otherwise.
Do they love me too? What if it doesn’t work? What if they left me? What if
they change with time? Do they mean everything that they say? What if I end up
hurting myself? The list goes on!
One gives what one has! So, till you discover love for your own
self, you can’t really love anyone else either. Some find love too soon and are
always happy. Some find it in the later stages of life and remain equally
happy. For those who had a tough time overcoming an unsuccessful marriage or a
serious relationship tend to be reluctant and hold them back. Some move
on with time, some have a tough time trying to hold on to it and some are stuck
somewhere as it remains inconclusive for them. It is rather very simple, if you
don't find them valuing you as much as you value them, you should know it’s
time to move on. Despite having a tough time trying to put up with complicated
relations and having compromised over our self respect too, we fail to
understand that the simplest form of love is the love of oneself.
Love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned; is
that really so? I would rather say, if you can’t see them reciprocate, you need
to just take a step back because loving someone and not getting anything in
return is love that becomes synonymous to pain and you may end up hurting
yourself to an extent wherein you are not even able to do the basic daily
routine activities of life; so what’s the point? Do you really want your life
to revolve around someone because of whom you get nothing but pain? Life is too
short to sulk, regret, over think and destroy your inner peace for any possible
thing or a situation. You need to laugh your heart out, pamper yourself with
things that you love, value yourself and if they couldn't realise your worth,
it may not be their fault because one cannot force the other to love; but trust
me, it’s their loss! Yes, it is. If only education taught us the importance of
self-love, this would probably have had made sense to all.
You are beautiful, yes YOU; not for the way you look, but for the
way you love, because when you love, it’s pure, its unconditional and most importantly
it’s real. You leave no stone unturned in nurturing it. You give all what you
have and you are ready to give up everything for it. Learn from your mistakes
but never let the bad experiences or anyone else change the way you love
because at the end all that matters is how gracefully you let go of things not
meant for you. A shout out to all those who suffered, witnessed setbacks in
life and think they have lost a part of them in the process of trying to make
something work, irrespective of the fact whether someone gave up on you or you
gave up on someone; for that matter, “Give up everything that weighs you down; give up on the relationship, do not give up on love.” Everything is temporary
but love. Love outlives us all. Love as much as you can, feel it, live it, let
it become a significant part of your identity but never stop loving yourself in
the process of loving others; never lose yourself because on a tight rope, we all walk alone! You need YOU more than you need them!
You haven’t loved enough if you haven’t loved yourself as much as
you think you have loved or can love any other.
Stuti Tulshyan
